Yet if he were young again, the sprightly, pot-bellied, 64-year-old Kurdish village chieftain says, he would happily trade in his five wives for one.
"Marrying five wives is not sinful, and I did so because to have many wives is a sign of power," says Arslan, perched on a divan in a large cushion- filled room at his house, where a portrait of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, who outlawed polygamy in 1926, is prominently displayed.
"But I wouldn't do it again," he adds, listing the challenges of so many kin, like building each wife a house far from the others to prevent them from competing and struggling to remember all of his children's names. "I was uneducated back then, and Allah commands us to be fruitful and multiply."
Banned by Ataturk as part of an effort to modernize the Turkish republic and empower women, polygamy remains widespread in this deeply religious and rural Kurdish region of southeastern Anatolia, home to one- third of Turkey's 71 million people. The practice is generally accepted under the Koran.
The prevalence of polygamy is creating culture clashes in a country struggling to reconcile the secularism of the republic with its Muslim traditions. It also risks undermining Turkey's drive to gain entry into the European Union, which has condemned the practice.
Because polygamous marriages are religious rituals not recognized by the state, the wives have no legal status, making them vulnerable when marriages turn violent. The imams who conduct the ceremonies can be punished with three-year jail sentences. Yet the local authorities here typically turn a blind eye because the practice is viewed as a tradition and is largely underground.
"The EU is looking for any excuse not to let Turkey in, and polygamy reinforces the stereotype of Turkey as a backward country," says Handan Coskun, director of a women's center.
Two years ago, Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan tried to attack polygamy by criminalizing adultery. The move came after prominent members of his Justice and Development party were rumored to have taken second wives.
But Erdogan was forced to withdraw the adultery ban when the EU criticized Turkey for intervening in the nation's bedrooms.
Polygamy is not unique to Turkey; it is also practiced in Muslim West Africa, in traditionalist Arab states like Saudi Arabia, and by Mormon fundamentalists in the United States.
In Turkey, polygamy experts explain the practice as a hangover from the Ottoman period, when harem culture abounded and having several wives was viewed as a symbol of influence, sexual prowess and wealth.
Professor Remzi Otto, a sociology professor at Dicle University in Diyarbakir, who conducted a survey of 50 polygamous families, says men here are often forced into arranged marriages by their families, and take second wives if their first wives cannot conceive sons. Some men also take widowed women and orphan girls as second wives to give them a social safety net. Love, adds Otto, also can play a role.
"Many men in this region are forced into marriages when they are as young as 13, so finding their own wife is a way to rebel and express their independence," he says.
Isiklar, the remote village where Arslan is aga, or chief, can be found at the end of a long dirt road, surrounded by sweeping verdant fields. Life in Isiklar is a family affair, since nearly all 300 inhabitants are Arslan's progeny. Most of the locals share his last name, Arslan, which means "lion" in Turkish and connotes his virility.
Arslan says he regrets his lifestyle and has banned his sons from taking second wives. He also is educating his daughters.
"I have done nothing shameful, I don't drink, I treat everyone with respect," he says. "But having so many wives can create problems."
His biggest headache, he says, stems from jealousy among the wives, the first of whom he married out of love.
"My rule is to behave equally toward all of my wives," he says. "But the first wife was very, very jealous when the second wife came. When the third arrived, the first two created an alliance against her. So I have to be a good diplomat."
Beyond the need to play marital referee, Arslan, who owns land, real estate, and shops throughout the region, says that the financial burden of so many offspring can be overwhelming.
"When I go to the shoe shop, I buy 100 pairs of shoes at a time. The clerk at the store thinks I'm a shoe salesman and tells me to go visit a wholesaler," he says, fingering his prayer beads and a pistol perched in a leather holster.
He also has trouble keeping track of his children. He recently saw two young boys fighting on the street and told them they would bring shame on their families.
"Do you not recognize me?" one of them replied. "I am your son."
Religious leaders here are beginning to question polygamy. On a recent day at the Ulu Mosque in Diyarbakir, a former Byzantine church surrounded by a large stone courtyard, a group of Islamic scholars washed their feet as they debated the merits of a second marriage.
Imam Camisab Ozbek said Islam permits a man to take up to four wives, but only on the condition that each wife has her own property, assets and dowry. He said some local polygamous men were distorting the Koran's teachings.
"If a husband takes a second wife and doesn't behave equally toward her, when he dies he will be handicapped in the hereafter and go to hell," he says, quoting a verse from the Koran that exhorts men to marry only one wife "if you fear you may not be able to deal justly" with two, three or four.
Women's groups say polygamy is putting women at risk because the second wives are invisible. "These women can be abused, raped, mistreated and because their marriages aren't legal, they have nowhere to turn," says Coskun, director of a women's center, which has opened bread-making factories in poor rural areas where women can work and take classes on women's rights.
Blind and handicapped at birth, Songul Fiktan, 31, says she was forced by her family to marry her cousin's husband because her cousin could not conceive. On the wedding night, she learned her husband was 65 years old.
"I didn't know if my husband was young or old, handsome or ugly, I was forced into the marriage," she says, shaking and wiping her eyes with a corner of her headscarf.
After she produced seven children, now 6 months to 15 years old, Fiktan says, her husband told her he could not afford to support the family and fled. Left alone, she moved to Diyarbakir where she and her children became beggars. A local professor found her on the street and took her to a shelter.
Back at his house in Isiklar, Aga Arslan acknowledges that polygamy is an outmoded practice that should slowly be disallowed.
"Allah has been giving to me because I am giving to my family," he says. "But if you want to be happy, marry one wife."
"Marrying five wives is not sinful, and I did so because to have many wives is a sign of power," says Arslan, perched on a divan in a large cushion- filled room at his house, where a portrait of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, who outlawed polygamy in 1926, is prominently displayed.
"But I wouldn't do it again," he adds, listing the challenges of so many kin, like building each wife a house far from the others to prevent them from competing and struggling to remember all of his children's names. "I was uneducated back then, and Allah commands us to be fruitful and multiply."
Banned by Ataturk as part of an effort to modernize the Turkish republic and empower women, polygamy remains widespread in this deeply religious and rural Kurdish region of southeastern Anatolia, home to one- third of Turkey's 71 million people. The practice is generally accepted under the Koran.
The prevalence of polygamy is creating culture clashes in a country struggling to reconcile the secularism of the republic with its Muslim traditions. It also risks undermining Turkey's drive to gain entry into the European Union, which has condemned the practice.
Because polygamous marriages are religious rituals not recognized by the state, the wives have no legal status, making them vulnerable when marriages turn violent. The imams who conduct the ceremonies can be punished with three-year jail sentences. Yet the local authorities here typically turn a blind eye because the practice is viewed as a tradition and is largely underground.
"The EU is looking for any excuse not to let Turkey in, and polygamy reinforces the stereotype of Turkey as a backward country," says Handan Coskun, director of a women's center.
Two years ago, Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan tried to attack polygamy by criminalizing adultery. The move came after prominent members of his Justice and Development party were rumored to have taken second wives.
But Erdogan was forced to withdraw the adultery ban when the EU criticized Turkey for intervening in the nation's bedrooms.
Polygamy is not unique to Turkey; it is also practiced in Muslim West Africa, in traditionalist Arab states like Saudi Arabia, and by Mormon fundamentalists in the United States.
In Turkey, polygamy experts explain the practice as a hangover from the Ottoman period, when harem culture abounded and having several wives was viewed as a symbol of influence, sexual prowess and wealth.
Professor Remzi Otto, a sociology professor at Dicle University in Diyarbakir, who conducted a survey of 50 polygamous families, says men here are often forced into arranged marriages by their families, and take second wives if their first wives cannot conceive sons. Some men also take widowed women and orphan girls as second wives to give them a social safety net. Love, adds Otto, also can play a role.
"Many men in this region are forced into marriages when they are as young as 13, so finding their own wife is a way to rebel and express their independence," he says.
Isiklar, the remote village where Arslan is aga, or chief, can be found at the end of a long dirt road, surrounded by sweeping verdant fields. Life in Isiklar is a family affair, since nearly all 300 inhabitants are Arslan's progeny. Most of the locals share his last name, Arslan, which means "lion" in Turkish and connotes his virility.
Arslan says he regrets his lifestyle and has banned his sons from taking second wives. He also is educating his daughters.
"I have done nothing shameful, I don't drink, I treat everyone with respect," he says. "But having so many wives can create problems."
His biggest headache, he says, stems from jealousy among the wives, the first of whom he married out of love.
"My rule is to behave equally toward all of my wives," he says. "But the first wife was very, very jealous when the second wife came. When the third arrived, the first two created an alliance against her. So I have to be a good diplomat."
Beyond the need to play marital referee, Arslan, who owns land, real estate, and shops throughout the region, says that the financial burden of so many offspring can be overwhelming.
"When I go to the shoe shop, I buy 100 pairs of shoes at a time. The clerk at the store thinks I'm a shoe salesman and tells me to go visit a wholesaler," he says, fingering his prayer beads and a pistol perched in a leather holster.
He also has trouble keeping track of his children. He recently saw two young boys fighting on the street and told them they would bring shame on their families.
"Do you not recognize me?" one of them replied. "I am your son."
Religious leaders here are beginning to question polygamy. On a recent day at the Ulu Mosque in Diyarbakir, a former Byzantine church surrounded by a large stone courtyard, a group of Islamic scholars washed their feet as they debated the merits of a second marriage.
Imam Camisab Ozbek said Islam permits a man to take up to four wives, but only on the condition that each wife has her own property, assets and dowry. He said some local polygamous men were distorting the Koran's teachings.
"If a husband takes a second wife and doesn't behave equally toward her, when he dies he will be handicapped in the hereafter and go to hell," he says, quoting a verse from the Koran that exhorts men to marry only one wife "if you fear you may not be able to deal justly" with two, three or four.
Women's groups say polygamy is putting women at risk because the second wives are invisible. "These women can be abused, raped, mistreated and because their marriages aren't legal, they have nowhere to turn," says Coskun, director of a women's center, which has opened bread-making factories in poor rural areas where women can work and take classes on women's rights.
Blind and handicapped at birth, Songul Fiktan, 31, says she was forced by her family to marry her cousin's husband because her cousin could not conceive. On the wedding night, she learned her husband was 65 years old.
"I didn't know if my husband was young or old, handsome or ugly, I was forced into the marriage," she says, shaking and wiping her eyes with a corner of her headscarf.
After she produced seven children, now 6 months to 15 years old, Fiktan says, her husband told her he could not afford to support the family and fled. Left alone, she moved to Diyarbakir where she and her children became beggars. A local professor found her on the street and took her to a shelter.
Back at his house in Isiklar, Aga Arslan acknowledges that polygamy is an outmoded practice that should slowly be disallowed.
"Allah has been giving to me because I am giving to my family," he says. "But if you want to be happy, marry one wife."